Guilty Pleasures

I'm not normally one for 'Reality TV'. Actually, I'm not normally one for any TV. I rarely watch it, unless it's something like the VMA's, 'old school' Two & A Half Men, The Simpsons, or Family Guy. And generally, if I do watch TV, I'll hover in the doorway, then flit back to my computer in the ad breaks. I don't even sit in the bloody lounge room.

However... lately I find myself drawn to a particular show, and I can't seem to discourage myself from watching it. I don't know if it's the accents - considering I have a hard time understanding them, if it's the lack of shirts on the blokes, or if, perhaps, it's the pointless drinking and partying they do that's hooked me; but for some inexplicable reason, I've formed a rather affable relationship with Geordie Shore.

It's my new guilty pleasure. I love it. Can't get enough of it, in fact. When the weekly episode is over, I feel... empty. One hour is simply not enough! AND, wait for it... I sit down ON the couch, for the ENTIRE hour, simply to avert missing two seconds of it.

Yep. I'm a goner.


Here's a little clip featuring Vicky And Sophie, explaining the art of the 'Slut Drop'

Vegan Oreo Truffles - so easy and so good!

Okay, so I'm the first to admit I'm a bad, baaad vegan. Not bad in the sense of 'cheating', but bad in respect to the fact that I'm still making/cooking unhealthy, fat-laden things - and enjoying them, to boot.


Now, without further ado, I give you my latest naughtiness attempt... VEGAN OREO TRUFFLES!


(CLICK PHOTOS TO ENLARGE)

The recipe below is so easy, your cat could make it, and the taste will blow the mind of any choc-lover, vegan or not.



***IMPORTANT NOTE***
 Be sure to check the ingredients of your Oreos. While the ones I purchase at my local Aussie supermarkets are vegan, I can't guarantee that yours will be.

FOR FILLING
1 Box of Original Oreos
1/2 tub of Tofutti 'Better Than Cream Cheese'


FOR COATING/ROLLING
(Of course, you don't have to do all three, but I'm all about variety)
200g Dark Chocolate - melted (I used Lindt Dark Cooking Chocolate)
Crushed nuts (I used walnuts because that's all I had in the pantry, and they worked well)
Dessicated coconut


METHOD
If you have a food processor, toss the Oreos in and pulse the crap out of them, then added the cream cheese and blend until you have a relatively smooth paste.

If you don't have a food processor, toss the Oreos into a high-sided bowl and crush the crap out of them with whatever you have handy, then add the cream cheese and mix with a spoon to form a smooth paste.

In either case, don't stress too much about lumps, because the Oreos will soften as the truffles set anyway.

Once that's done, simply roll teaspoon-ish globs of mixture into balls and either coat in melted chocolate and leave them as is, or coat in chocolate THEN roll in nuts, or... simply roll in dessicated coconut WITHOUT coating them in chocolate. Whichever way you do it, they'll taste superb.

Place the truffles on a non-stick surface after rolling/coating.

Following that, pop them into the freezer for an hour if you want a quick choc fix (then put them in the fridge), or pop them straight in the fridge for a few hours before indulging.


*This recipe was sourced (though I've adapted the measurements and timing a little) from user 'Veg-in-training' on Vegweb*

A brief ( ish ) interview with, um... me.

*Sitting in the bathtub with a mic – ala Jimmy in ‘The Commitments’*

“Hi Kylie, what drove you to write your book?”

Interesting question, Kylie. Thanks for asking. Please be advised my answer will be long winded.

Truthfully? I was driven by the media hype surrounding Rob Pattinson’s hair. I was driven by a guy I met around that time who reminded me of an actor (mind you, I still can’t put my finger on who). I was driven by Twilight. Well, Twilight ending, anyway.

Sounds silly, I know, but that stuff combined with a tonne of other stuff including the nutty happenings within my everyday life, a thirst for something creative to pour myself into, and a love for entertaining people... all of it drove me to write this book.

Music drove me to write this book, and it continues to inspire certain scenes and emotions. But I don’t tend to listen to it when I’m writing. I tend to crank it in the car or discover new or sometimes new-old stuff on Youtube, and it’s a well-known fact (where my friends and family are concerned) that I dance like an idiot in my walk-in-robe with my iPod. Laugh if you must, but I’ll have you know I lost a shitload of weight sweating it out in there.

What my familiars don’t know (well, they’ll know now, but anyway), what they didn’t know, is that I also get my mic and stand out while I’m in there, and I free my inner rock/pop-star. The Kings of Leon have their ‘Fergie’ in me, and I bet you didn’t know I sang at the VMA’s? Yep. My invisible audience was full of notable faces, and I’m pretty sure they were digging my rendition of Superbass.

Long story short, there’s no sense in me listing my inspirations – things, people, behaviours, happenings, sounds, smells, my imaginings, etc etc etc, because it’s ceaseless. At the end of the day, lots of stuff inspired me to write Enharmonic, and it’s that stuff, plus a never-ending influx of new stuff, feelings and so on that to inspire me to continue writing. It’s called 'Life', and it’s happening in a town near you! *punches the air*

“Wow, Kylie, you really are long-winded. So, tell us, in one sentence or less - if you think you can manage it - what kind of environment you write in, and why?”

*Crosses arms and raises eyebrows at reflection in shaving mirror*

I do all my writing outdoors, best between the hours of 9pm-3am, all year round.

“All year round? What about in winter?”

Yes, all year round. And winter? What of it? Cairns’ weather rocks. Nuff said.

So, who sold out? You or them…?

Before I begin my slight rant, I should mention that I’ve used ‘BAG’ as an abbreviation for ‘Band, Artist, or Group’, seeing as I make the reference a few times within the following text.

Right-o, here we go…

One of the most irritating things a person can say to me regarding a BAG is this (or something along these lines): ‘I don’t like ‘em anymore ‘cos they sold out’.

Though I didn’t think twice about judging people a few years back, I’ve grown and I now refrain from doing so for the most part; but where statements comparable the above are concerned, I digress. If you’re going to say something like that to me, then I’m going to assume you’re a bit of a dickhead, and I’ll make an excuse to go to the loo so I can escape you.

My mental response (‘mental’ not because I’m afraid of a good debate, but because I find it’s far less painful to think it rather than say it and wind up butting my head against a wall) is usually as follows:

‘Is that right? Okay then, define ‘sold out’, Mr/Ms Self-righteous. Is that ‘sold out’ as in ‘sold out a gig at the O2 Arena because they’re awesome’, or ‘sold out’ as in ‘they’re no longer the quirky unknown BAG you were the first to talk about within your social circle, so you tossed their CD’s, deleted their MP3’s, shredded that t-shirt you paid top dollar for at their concert, continuously run them down to anyone who’ll listen (but only if it’s not someone you raved about said BAG to in the first place), then found yet another quirky ‘unheard of’ BAG to take their place?’

Of course, ninety per cent of the time it’s the latter, but the optimist in me can’t help but hope it’s the former.

In any case, their reasoning – if you can even call it that – is usually a mutated version of their original gripe anyway. ‘I just, like, can’t stand the fact that they went mainstream, man.’

Okay, so riddle me this… how does one ‘go’ mainstream? Is there a rickety sign at a crossroad somewhere in Musicland, whereby BAGs might find themselves facing two (or possibly more, but we’ll stick with two for now) set-in-stone paths?

Path 1 – Record an album and have your legal team draw up documents that restrict its airplay completely, because there’s a possibility you might achieve international acclaim, money, and a bevy of new fans, thus putting a few supercilious noses out of joint because you’re no longer an obscure little act they ‘discovered’.

Or

Path 2 – Never record another album in case the above issues arise, thus ensuring you stay an obscure little act and keep those few, and dare I say it ‘insignificant’ assholes happy.

Alright, so they're pretty much the same thing, but the important factor here is that we've deduced ‘mainstream’ is a dirty word, right? Pffft!

What I find funny (the following being from multiple personal experiences) is that it’s not unusual for these whiny twats to screw up their faces, uttering the M-word like every letter has the potential to spear their tongues as they roll out their mouths; then head out to a pub to watch a cover band, or to a club where they’ll shake their arses all night to *cough* mainstream *cough* pop/dance.

Clearly hypocrisy is a right tasty dish for some.

See, as far as I’m concerned, if you like a BAG, then you like ‘em, and that’s that. You might tire of hearing certain songs if they get a lot of airplay, that’s normal and no different to going off chocolate for a while after over-indulging at Easter; but to actively trash a BAG you supposedly love, purely on the basis that they’ve made it big, is beyond me.

I once voiced my opinion (a shortened account of my ‘mental’ thingy above) on this particular subject, and the receiver got quite defensive, telling me they’d *sob* had to endure hearing a KOL song (a band they apparently loved for years beforehand), over and over on the radio, all day every day at work.

My initial thought? ‘You should think yourself lucky it was Sex on Fire and not Agadoo, mate!’

Veering off to the left a little, I personally believe that we, the public, the all-important consumers, want too much from the BAGS of the world. For example, many people anticipate the arrival of a favourite BAGS new album like they would the birth of their first child, then when they get the album, a lot of the time they complain the new music doesn’t sound like their older stuff.   

They might then accuse the BAG in question of slacking off in their efforts or trying to emulate another BAG, but what these haters fail to ascertain is that these musos are not going to spend loads of time away from their homes, families, and friends, in order to travel constantly for promotion and gigs, or record all day and all night, etc, just to churn out a piece of shit they wouldn’t want to put their dog’s name on.

As with any form of art, music progresses as people’s influences, lives, and habits change. I believe they call it evolution, and I also believe it should be embraced.

Don’t agree with that? Then perhaps you should ask yourself if you’d be prepared to eat baked beans on toast for every single meal, and wear the exact same outfit every single day for the rest of your life. If you answered ‘yes’ to that, then you might want to reassess a few things, but anyway… my point is that if you attest to loving a BAG, then you should treat them with the respect they deserve; the respect you initially held for them. If you’re not overly keen on something they put out, don’t put them down and don’t abandon them, but celebrate what it was that drew you to them in the first place.   

I come from a land down under!

 

Today marks a few things for our great southern land, both good and bad; and though I don't begrudge the aboriginal people their right to mourn, me personally, it's a day I have always and will always celebrate. Australia is my motherland and I love her to pieces, despite her tumultuous history.

So... Happy Australia Day, folks!

The list below has been doing the rounds on Facebook, and I was cracking up as I read it - because it's so bloody true! I couldn't not post it here. Enjoy!

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AUSTRALIAN IF:
* You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.
* You're liable to burst out laughing whenever you hear of Americans "rooting" for something.
* You pronounce Melbourne as 'Mel-bin'.
* You believe the 'L' in the word 'Australia' is optional.
* You can translate: 'Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas.'
* You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.
* You think 'Woolloomooloo' is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.
* You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.
* You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.
* You understand that 'Wagga Wagga' can be abbreviated to 'Wagga' but 'Woy Woy' can't be called 'Woy'.
* You believe that cooked-down axle grease makes a good breakfast spread. You've also squeezed it through Vita Wheats to make little Vegemite worms.
* You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.
* Beetroot with your Hamburger... Of course.
* You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song 'Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again' And "Living next door to Alice".
* You believe that the confectionery known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.
* You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them.
* Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language.
* You understand that 'excuse me' can sound rude, While 'scuse me' is always polite.
* You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.
* You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle and a seat belt buckle becomes a pretty good branding iron.
* Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.
* You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call 'Anzac cookies'.
* You still think of Kylie as 'that girl off Neighbours'.
* When working on a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.
* You know how to abbreviate every word, all of which usually end in -o: arvo, combo, garbo, kero, metho, milko, muso, rego, servo, smoko, speedo, righto, goodo etc.
* You know that there is a universal place called "woop woop" located in the middle of nowhere...no matter where you actually are.
* You know that none of us actually drink Fosters beer, because it tastes like shit. But we let the world think we do. Because we can.
* You have, at some time in your life, slept with Aeroguard on in the summer. Maybe even as perfume.
* You've only ever used the words - tops, ripper, sick, mad, rad, sweet - to mean good. And then you place 'bloody' in front of it when you REALLY mean it.
* You know that the barbecue is a political arena; the person holding the tongs is always the boss and usually a man. And the women make the Salad.
* You say 'no worries' quite often, whether you realise it or not.
* You understand what no wucking furries means.
* You've drank your tea/coffee/milo through a Tim Tam.
* You own a Bond's chesty. In several different colours.
* You know that roo meat tastes pretty good, But not as good as barra. Or a meat pie.
* You know that some people pronounce Australia like "Straya" and that's ok.
* And you will forward this list to other Australians, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand!!!